Unlicensed Stitches
by Cartwheellou
Summary: The twins know more about medicine than they like to let on, but when resident healer Fishlegs gets injured himself, they might be the only two that can bandage him up properly. Based off the headcanon that the twins know a lot about medicine because they're injured so often and have to visit Gothi a lot. Takes place at Edge. Oneshot.


At the Edge, the five teens were utterly alone. Completely isolated. No sort of medic within the nearest day's travel. Thus, Fishlegs had taken it upon himself to study up. Astrid gets sick from training in the rain? Well, resident healer Fishlegs has got the knowledge to help her get over it as soon as possible. Snotlout burned himself experimenting with Nightmare gel? A little more of a problem, but Fishlegs could make the burn cream and apply a bandage well enough. It took a while for him to get over the blood (he has a tender heart), and whenever stitches were involved the torch was passed to Snotlout, but he prided himself on his newfound skills. This was all well and good. No one else was going to do it, and it was... mostly enjoyable, so Fishlegs felt no qualms about taking up the title.

The only problem was, right now it was Fishlegs himself who needed the medical attention. He had been climbing a loose slope to try and reach one of Meatlug's favorite rocks—which just so happened to have been on the very top—when the ground he was standing on gave out and he slipped, cutting his upper arm on a pointed stone. It bled heavily, and Fishlegs had to try very hard not to look at it as Meatlug helped him stagger back to base. After all his studying, he knew that things could take a turn for the worse if he passed out from the sight and let the wound continue to bleed.

He stumbled into the main room where everyone was gathered, drawing their attention as he kneeled next to the cabinets and pulled out his first aid kit—he had multiple stashed around the base. Hiccup noticed his cut. "Fishlegs, what happened to your arm?!"

Everyone turned to look with worried eyes, gasping when they saw all the blood running down his arm. He had been trying to apply pressure to it while walking, but it was a bit harder while he was trying to move. Mostly, he had just succeeded in getting blood everywhere, and he tried to ignore the red staining his hand as he reached for the kit.

"I'm fine, I just need to bandage it up," he gritted, sitting on a bench and opening the kit which he had placed beside him. He hesitated in reaching for the needle and thread, and instead selected a roll of bandages.

Hiccup placed a hand over Fishlegs's. "You can't bandage yourself one handed," he said. "Here, I'll do it. Just... tell me how."

Fishlegs hesitated, and conceded. "Alright. Well, go get a wet cloth to clean the blood off."

He did as instructed. Hiccup wiped all the blood away, trying to avoid touching the cut itself. Fishlegs whined and winced. Though it, he continued to give directions on sterilizing and prepping the wound.

"Ok, now just bandage it up."

At this Tuffnut bit his lip, which Ruffnut noticed out of the corner of her eye. "Go on. You know you want to say it," she whispered sultrily.

"No," he snapped.

"Just say it," she continued. "You don't have to do anything."

After a few seconds of internal debate, Tuffnut questioned, "Don't you want to stitch it up first? It'll help it heal faster... I think."

Fishlegs shifted. "I don't think I can take stitches. It'll be fine, just wrap it up."

Hiccup sighed. "Alright."

"Okay, just... no, a little higher. A little tighter is fine, —no not that tight!"

Tuffnut continued to bounce on his feet, trying to look elsewhere.

"Hiccup's not doing a very good job," Ruffnut observed. "I think I know someone that could do it better."

"You could do better, too," Tuffnut fired. "Miss potions and herbs. Conniving, plotting... witch. Witch doctor. Doctor doctor."

"But _you_ like the cuts."

"Shut up."

They watched a few more seconds as Hiccup struggled to keep the bandage from unravelling. Astrid and Snotlout stood standby.

"...When's the last time you did it?" Ruffnut asked.

"I don't know. When I cut my leg on that bush a few months ago."

"I remember. I was teasing you for being so bored as to bandage a little scrape. When's the last time you worked on something big? Like... Fishlegs's cut."

Tuffnut huffed and crossed his arms. Then he re-crossed his arms the other way, as if it was more effective in conveying his displeasure. "I know your angle, sister! _Don't_ even think about it!"

"Do it, do it, do it, do it," she whispered right in his ear. He swatted at her as if she were a gnat, but she evaded and continued her prodding on the other side. "Go on, you know you want to. What's the harm? Come on, come on, come on..."

Tuffnut shoved her away, and snapped, "Fine! You wanna see me do it?! Then you're doing it, too! Go get the potion!"

Everyone's attention had been drawn by his outburst. Ruffnut squealed, and ran out of the room. "I'll be back in thirty seconds!"

They continued to watch as Tuffnut stomped over to the open kit, pulling out a packet of small needles. He held them up and comically inspected them, tilting his head this way and that. Eventually, he selected one. His face turned to check on Fishlegs's cut, but he sighed aggravatedly when he saw that it had been sloppily covered by Hiccup's handiwork. He shoved the Night Fury rider aside, ignoring his sharp, "Hey!" when he began unraveling the few bandages he managed to do. Fishlegs squawked in protest, but with an odd type of authority Tuffnut snapped, "Sit still!" Fishlegs's jaw snapped shut.

Observing the size and shape of the cut, he cut the correct length of string from the bundle in the box and threaded the needle through it as Fishlegs's face grew pale. "What are you doing, Tuffnut?"

He never answered as Ruffnut ran back into the room, carefully holding a glass full of... liquid substance. "Made, sir Tuffnut!"

"Thank you, lady Ruffnut," he replied, still futzing with the needle and thread. "Please administer to the patient."

The girl turned to the properly terrified Fishlegs, and held out her concoction. "Drink," she ordered. Fishlegs frantically shook his head. "Drink!" she commanded again. She opened his mouth with a quick jab to his throat and dumped it in, about half of it dripping down his front.

"Hey!" Astrid shouted, and made to intervene. Snotlout grabbed her arm, and she rounded on him. "What?!"

"Just let them do it," he stated, possibly slightly less cocky than usual.

"...Huh?" she questioned, understandably lost. "But…"

Ruffnut held her hand over Fishlegs's mouth. "We both know that you're going to swallow eventually, and I _know_ that that doesn't taste good, so get it over with." Fishlegs swallowed with an audible gulp.

"How long?" Tuffnut asked.

"Just half a minute. I figured you'd want to get started right away," Ruffnut responded sweetly.

"You vixen," Tuffnut cursed. "You knew this would happen." He continued to busy himself, taking Hiccup's bandage and tying it above Fishlegs's wound as a tourniquet.

Ruffnut laughed at his words as everyone waited for more movement. Fishlegs started to sway a little, and his lids dropped to half moon. "What did you give me?" he questioned drowsily.

"A numbing and calming agent. We don't want you struggling while getting stitches," Ruffnut cooed.

"I... I dun want stitches," he halfheartedly protested.

"You'll thank me later," Tuffnut claimed, "Wounds in that area are likely to tear open, and it would hinder your flying for at least a week." He wiped away the blood that sluggishly dribbled down the other's arm. "Let's get started."

Fishlegs whined but didn't move, watching as Tuffnut started to expertly stitch his wound up. "Wha... I dun feel it."

"How strong did you dose him?" Tuff muttered questioningly. Ruffnut smiled but didn't respond.

He finished quickly, taking the shears and snipping the string short. He put everything back, and stood in front of Fishlegs. He shoved a pointed finger in the boy's face.

"Try not to stretch it too much. If they rip, call me. They should be ready to come out in 7-10 days, and call me for that, too. Avoid eating liver."

With that he walked out of the room, leaving a giggling Ruffnut, a yawning Snotlout, and an astounded Hiccup, Astrid and Fishlegs behind.

Ruffnut bent down to Fishlegs. "Now, you might be feeling after-effects from the potion for a little while. Drowsiness and amiability is common. Avoid flying at high altitudes..."


End file.
